confused!!!

i haven't written in a while! i sorry!!! i have not had a chance to get to a computer! we finally got the internet to work!
i haven't been myself lately!
i haven't been doing so great lately and im sorry that i hurt you! its just that i also made a promise to myself that i was not going to go through the whole jail thing again! its so diffucult to explain what im feeling! being here in france has changed alot of things and has changed my direction in life! i think my head is gonna pop soon from all the thinking ive been doing! i am always telling myself to just breathe...! i try to be strong! i have to make decisions! i don't know what to do! i wish this were easier! i don't know if i am physically strong enough to go through this again! i trying to figure out what to do! im sorry that i dont have an answer for you! i will get on the computer tomorrow!!!

xoxo**